How 7,000 hours of meditation changed my life

There is a popular concept out there that it takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to master a skill. This comes from Malcolm Gladwell’s famous book Outliers.

So what is the skill that is mastered with the deliberate practice of meditation? Some equate 10,000 hours of meditation to a PhD in happiness. Other people say it is peace, emotional freedom, serenity, self-awareness, liberation, or non-attachment. For me, I like to use the word Self-Mastery, which I believe encompasses all these concepts.

Well, today I have completed my 7,000th hour of meditation! [Update Nov 21st, 2017 —> now I have completed 8,000 hours.] 

In this post, I’ll speak about what benefits meditation has given me so far. In other words, what has changed in me and in my life, as a result of this practice. Unlike most of my other articles, which are more objective (and of the type “everything you need to know about this topic”), this one is more personal.

There is this taboo in meditation and spiritual circles to talk about how your personal practice is going (especially if it is giving you benefits). It is a good check on the personal ego, but I believe that it limits the community in negative ways as well. This is something that Daniel Ingram criticizes a lot.

In a way it’s right, because by talking about your personal practice you are putting your ego on the line, and risking to either sound stupid, or proud. However, in my own experience I have got so much inspiration and motivation from masters (and advanced  practitioners) when they openly speak like this. I have also got relief when I read some advanced practitioners talking about their challenges in practice. I’ve found that when I just speak plainly and boldly about what meditation has given me, without fear of sounding boastful, that many people are actually inspired to practice more. So here I go!

[For the really curious, here is my logbook.]

10 Ways Meditation Changed My Life

meditation changed my lifeMeditation brings benefits in four levels: (1) physical, (2) mental, (3) emotional/psychological, (4) spiritual.

In this article, I will focus on the mental and emotional benefits. Since I started the practice very young (14 years old), and with sound health, the physical benefits are mostly invisible for me, and are all on the prevention side, so nothing dramatic here.

I need to emphasize that what I share here is my experience, according to the techniques I’ve chosen to practice. It is of course also influenced by all the relentless reading, contemplation, retreats, pranayama, and spiritual practices I’ve done over the past 17 years.

The reason why I’m sharing is to show the possibility of this practice, when taken seriously. And don’t be fooled – I still have a long way to go! ?

As to the techniques I chose, I first practiced meditation in an unstructured way, for about 2 years. Then I did breathing awareness in the form of Zazen for 3 years, and Self-Enquiry (Ramana Maharshi style) for 9 years. Over the past 2 years I have practiced Yogic techniques.

(1) Less Reactivity

How 7,000 hours of meditation changed my lifeIf someone cuts me off in traffic, my natural reaction now is to breathe and relax (rather than get tense and curse). The same thing goes for most times my computer hangs.

There seems to be no more automatic reactions. Regardless of what happens in the outside world, if an automatic reactions come up in my body or mind, there is an immediately pause or space right before it. And there is a clear choice of either going with the reaction or just staying quiet.

I’m constantly watching myself. It is almost like there is an automatic pause before any note. With less impulsivity, there is more conscious action, and less regret.

(2) Fearlessness, Confidence, Inner Strength

I’m more at ease when having hard conversations, receiving heavy blows from life, or dealing with difficult people. There is this feeling that I can always accept anything that the present moment brings, and make something good out of it. This allows me to be more in control, less anxious, and less worried.

Worries still come up. But when they do, I immediately recognize them, become aware of their effect on my body, and consciously relax the nervous system. Following that, there is the space to think whether I actually need to take any action or not.

Another aspect of this is that when day after day you are openly facing your own mind and inner demons, there is a natural sense of inner strength and confidence that develops. If a strong emotion such as frustration comes, there is no need to panic, because I’ve learned from experience that they all come and go. I am the perceiving consciousness, larger than any thought or feeling I perceive.

Finally, I’ve also developed a sense of imperturbability and invincibility, like a man who consciously knows he is dreaming and, therefore, fears nothing in the dream. This is actually related more to the spirituality aspect of meditation than to purely the techniques themselves.

(3) Willpower & Focus

The core exercise of meHow 7,000 hours of meditation changed my lifeditation is to constantly be aware of what is going on in your mind, and directing your attention as desired. So in a single meditation session the muscles of self-awareness (“mindfulness”), focus, and willpower get exercised dozens of times.

In other words, the more I develop the art of attention, the more willpower and mental resources I have available for everything else. With sharper awareness and stronger intentions, other things in life have become easier – like taking care of my health, relationships, career, etc. There is less friction in making things happen.

(4) Wellness / Happiness / Contentment

One of the core teachings of meditation is that true happiness is internal. It is a state of mind and heart; not a status in life.

Once I really started to deepen my experience in meditation, with concentration becoming more steady, I began to experience a sense of joy, and even bliss. This experience I cannot find anywhere else in this world.

I’ve found that the more this grows, the less attachment there is to seeking pleasure in external achievements and things. This also makes sense from a neurological point of view.

As an example, if you eat your favorite ice cream, it will give you X amount of joy/pleasure. Eat it a second time after that, and it will yield X – 2 pleasure. Go for it a third time, and you get X – 5; and so on. Your neurons become increasing less receptive to that stimulus, so there are “diminishing returns”. As a result, the pleasure soon becomes boring or meaningless. The same thing happens with other external sources of enjoyment – like sex, drugs, money, fame, and power.

On the other hand, research shows that the pleasure that advanced meditators experience in their practice doesn’t suffer this down-regulation. It doesn’t get boring, and there are no diminishing returns!

When the mind is calm, interiorized, and one-pointed, we have access to a happiness inherent in ourselves. It depends on nothing external, is more long-lasting, and it doesn’t get old. It’s like being happy for no reason. Being well in your own skin, in all times and places.

Before taking on meditation, my dominant mood was that of restlessness and anxiety. Now, years later, my dominant mood is a sense of energetic presence, peace, and contentment. Meditation has removed almost all of my psychological suffering. I have no negative self-talk, and can’t remember the last time I felt sad, depressed, anxious, fearful or bored.

(5) Integration / Wholeheartedness

Integration means that all the voices inside yourself are working in unison – rather than fighting and competing for power. For example, if a part of you wants to lose weight, and another part hates exercise and healthy eating, there is constant inner conflict. You are divided, and with that division comes frustration and regret.

What I’ve found is that with years of meditation and other essential practices, inner conflict may initially arise for me, but it gets resolved much quicker, and in a more cohesive way. It’s like there is a team of employees with opposing ideas and priorities, but when they discuss the issue and cast their votes, the whole team will then act in the chosen direction wholeheartedly.

(6) Control Of Mind

Meditation has given me a lot of control over my internal world. Although some thoughts stay a bit longer than I’d wish them to, I’m no longer oppressed by any of them.

Indeed, increased self-awareness allows me to stop feeding negative thoughts and emotions before they have a chance to grow and multiply. And to a certain degree there is a power to “switch off” any disturbing thought or emotion that may arise. Sometimes I make use of it, while at other times I prefer to investigate and see what’s behind it.

Worries, fears, hatred, anger, boredom – all these have basically disappeared and do not arise anymore. Except perhaps in very subtle, weak, and short-lived expressions (if any). I can “drop” any mental state and be in equanimity, any time of the day.

(7) Unfuckwithability

As I mentioned above, it often feels to me as if life is a dream… So even though I participate with joy and intensity, there is this underlying feeling that nothing can disturb me, and that I need fear nothing – all is a play.

Nothing seems to be able to cause real fear or attachment. Whatever emotion rises inside of me, it only stays for long if I want it to.

Also, I just can’t be bothered to worry about what other people think or say about me. Practice has shown me that my own thoughts are mostly only “brain farts”. So why should I care about someone else’s brain farts?

(8) Mental Flexibility

The deeper I go into meditation, the more flexible I find myself becoming regarding concepts, beliefs, and worldviews. Opposite truths can be allowed to exist at the same time, without a problem.

Continuous personal growth requires that you contradict yourself from time to time. And meditation gives you the strength of mind to let go of old ideas and say “I was wrong” without fear of losing face.

(9) Power over Emotion

Loving kindness meditation taught me that we have this power to generate any feeling or emotion in our own minds, without depending on any event or person. I’ve been experimenting with this and it’s an amazing power – one that depends only on your imagination and ability to focus.

My inner study on how my mind works has also given me a certain ability to “dissolve” any emotion that arises back into emptiness. This means that you can allow any emotion to arise… but they don’t need to stay around unless you want to. Can you imagine how much negative self-talk you can stop this way?

Your life changes.

The other day we were at a dinner party when a couple of friends asked me what are the real benefits I get from my meditation. Before I could answer, and to my surprise, my wife jumped in and said: “I have lived with this man for over 8 years, and I have never even once seen him angry, sad, broken, or in pain. Not even in the midst of hardships in life.

(10) Inner Freedom

When you know that everything that is happening is only appearing on the screen of consciousness, and that you yourself are the screen on which it all appears, nothing can touch you, harm you or make you afraid. – Annamalai Swami

After 10 years in my meditation practice and spiritual search, I had an awakening experience that changed my life for good. (I’ll skip the details…)

After that day, it doesn’t really matter which state my mind is in. All thoughts and emotions are seen as just phenomena inside my consciousness, and their spell is somewhat broken. Nothing sticks anymore; it’s almost like I cannot be bothered by anything – even in the midts of engaged action. Like the bird flying through the skies, leaving no psychological traces behind.

As a result of this, there is an experience of inner freedom. Something got turned off, and never again came back the way it was. The feeling of being a person, an “ego”, is only a thin veil, not believed in anymore.

My Practice Right Now

At this point in time, I haven’t yet achieved the perfect state of Samadhi (see bottom of this post), as traditionally defined by the yogis. I say this so you don’t get discouraged. Because even before a state of flawless concentration is achieved, there are already some wonderful benefits in the practice.

Nowadays the actual process of meditation for me, during the first minutes, feels like a constant remembering (focusing the attention) and forgetting (getting distracted). After a few minutes, there is some one-pointedness of mind, and almost every day I experience several moments when the mind is still, collected, introspected, joyful, or “thoughtless”. And during the day, of course, there are all those benefits I mentioned above.

As for technique, I focus on the space between the eyebrows (a type of chakra meditation). And I also continually to experiment with different types of meditation and yogi breathing exercises (pranayama).

Weird Experiences In Meditation

meditation experimentsEither during meditation, or as a result of the practice, several experiences can happen. Here I’ll list just the ones that I’ve had and can remember. So if you’ve experienced anything like this, know that you are not alone.

These experiences are helpful in arousing your motivation in keeping up with the practice, and sparking a curiosity to explore more. But don’t try to “repeat them” – it usually doesn’t work, and that’s not the purpose anyway.

Here are things I have experienced:

  • During meditation
    • feeling that I am half outside of my body
    • feeling myself to be the whole universe, the entirety of existence
    • seeing the existence of the whole universe arise from my heart
    • losing the sense of time (one hour passing like 10min)
    • rushes of energies coming up through the spine
    • feeling something in the middle of my brain opening up, and showering the whole body with so much bliss and joy that it feels like every cell is dancing
    • the spot between the eyebrows “throbbing”
    • being in a non-dual state, with no other perception happening except my own undefinable existence
    • being in a state of concentration where there is so much intensity, it’s like the brain is experiencing a thousand images and feelings at the same time, without being able to process them
    • feeling heat building up in the body (this can be a sign of the wrong type of concentration, or of internal energies evaporating)
    • feeling consciousness and my energy homogeneously distributed all over my brain, without being focused on any one part, and without much movement
    • seeing the image of something that then happened later on that day (déjà vu?)
    • seeing all sorts of lights and colors
    • breathing stopping, together with all discursive thinking, for several seconds. Then there is usually a particular perception of this event, at which point the breathing resumes. After some years, I gained the ability to perceive this state without disturbing it or forming a thought such as “this is the thoughtless state”.
  • After meditation
    • seeing myself to be one with whatever I perceive around me
    • feeling love for all people I see
    • feeling like my brain is changing, expanding, contracting, or cooling down (also happens during meditation)
    • feeling a wave of joy or peace taking over my mind

In general, a consistent experience (apart from peace and contentment) has been that of my brain changing. I feel the structure of my brain itself has changed. Sometimes I feel this rewiring happening during meditation practice, and sometimes during the day.

The most transcendental experiences are the times that the mind is completely silent, in a state of non-dual awareness, and motionless. There is basically just a perception of a very subtle – yet expansive – sense of “pure being”. No phenomenon is being perceived in particular. No distraction, no thinking, no bliss, no intention.

Towards 10,000 Hours!

Meditation is not the only way of developing these qualities/skills. But it is an effective way. It’s an exercise that unfolds into a lot of things… if you take it seriously and practice it daily. The more consistently you practice, with the right attitude and technique, the more you get from it.

Meditation has the potential to bring this and much more. Or it may bring you things that it didn’t bring me. Your journey will be uniquely your own. As long as you are doing the practice and deriving some benefit, you are on the right track.

My next milestone is the aspirational 10,000 hours of practice – which will probably take me more three years.

There is no doubt that I still have a long way to go on this path. Yet I can see that what meditation has given me is precious – and that many people seem to want a some of these benefits for themselves.

But what’s most important about this post isn’t what’s happened to me; it’s about what’s possible for you. Most of these changes don’t come easily – but with consistency and patience, they are possible.

The first and most essential step is to develop a consistent daily practice, and finding the right technique for yourself. If you are struggling with that, you might want to check out my course, Master Your Mind, which is targeted to help with these challenges.

Please leave a comment saying what emotional or mental “superpower” you most wish to receive from meditation. Or share any interesting experiences with us.

  • RahmaK

    Nicely worded, Giovanni! I diligently practice the wonderfully freeing activity, or activity-less art, of meditation, in the style of my mentor, Tony Samara, for the realisation of human consciousness. You have really documented well every one of your experiences above, and your sharing can only help to encourage others to take the same, or similar steps to freedom. Come on world, let’s get together and meditate.

  • Carol Larochelle

    I meditated the first time about 6 months. My emotional energy was completely out of wack. Actually my whole being was spiraling out of control. What an amazing experience to just listen and breathe. I still cry in my silence. But I have been amazed at how simply pausing and breathing can quite My unfiltered verbiage. I hope to absorb all the universe offers me. I love the peace meditation gives me. I am so grateful now for all that I am. I used to spend my waking hours ridiculing myself breaking myself apart with negativity. I have a long way to go but at least now when I catch myself in a negative space. I can breathe and kick the negative talk out of my head. Thank you universe and thank you for this article.

    • Beatiful, Carol! Thank you for sharing your experience and benefits, and inspire us all!

    • Carol Larochelle

      Thank u.

  • Vasilis Valandreas

    Excellent post Giovanni! I’ve been practicing meditation for the last 17 years and I have experienced most of these benefits on myself. Your sharing helps me encourage my students to keep practicing so they can keep receiving all the above benefits.
    Thank you!

    • Nice. It seems we both started at the same time then!

    • Vasilis Valandreas

      Indeed, although I was a little bit older (32 at that time) 🙂

  • Andreas Krasser

    Thanks Giovanni for once again sharing your wisdom and experience, you are truly a very generous person. Its very encouraging to hear about all those benefits, and i can really relate to all of them. Although in a much lesser extent ( i have only meditated 1 year) but already the benefits are so huge and it makes me feel extra good about the future.
    Once again i wish you the very best

    • It’s great to hear you are already having solid benefits in your practice so soon!

  • Das Menon

    Ancient Indian epics talk about people meditating for years if not centuries – staying in perfect health.

    When we become keen on couning time, achieving a count of 1,000, we may easily shift our goal to 2,000, 10,000 and so on. Seeking in itself can become an obsesion.

    True seekers must watch out for this inner trap. Others can have material benifits (of an external reality) for sure. None of that is wrong but each has different results.

    • For sure compared to the great Yogis I’m just a baby in the path. And yet with this “little practice” I’ve already benefited so much. I think this is encouraging to share.

      I am of the type that likes registering, measuring, tweaking and optimising. So when I got familiarized with the 10,000 hours rule, I was curious to look back and count, retroactively.

    • Das Menon

      Thanks for the reply. That is indeed a great achievement. I too am an infant in the way you indicated. I did not mean to make your achievment look small because it is truly amazing. Many paths to One Goal, says the old books. That is the beauty of various yogas. At the same time, India has many entrenched, endless practices. The system does not have anything to help people to the next step either. Just some thoughts.

  • Myles Davidson

    Great article! Great to see you reference Daniel Ingram. He has been a huge inspiration to me. Your article has his no-BS, down-to-earth, honesty about it. He’s been great for the dharma community, (as has Shinzen Young). Love reading what you have to say. It rings like a bell 🙂

  • Bhavik Nanavati

    Great article Daniel!

    It’s inspiring to know you are flowing freely in Meditation!
    The superpower I would like in myself is to transpose from one place to another.

  • JR

    Many thanks for sharing your personal meditation experience with the world Giovanni. Firstly, allow me to reinforce the notion of egolessness, when I say that sharing your experience here is not only inspiring, but shows a true testament to your dedication of spreading the many benefits (both mind and matter) to the masses. Not caring what people say (or what you think they think) is liberating in and of itself. Also glad to see a reference to Daniel Ingram, his stoic pragmatic way of practice also helped me understand dogma from a unique, yet interesting, perspective. Highly recommend Daniel’s book.

    For any readers that have tried meditation to no avail, or lack direction from a formal teacher, etc., I suggest you take Giovanni’s course. This will undoubtedly concrete your practice, if you have the motivation to will it. As Warren Buffet once said, “Investing in yourself is the best thing you can do”. Before taking the course, I meditated on and off, mostly off, since studying martial arts in high school – but now as an adult with family and commitments, my practice is integrated in my morning rituals. By the way, Giovanni is unaware of this informal endorsement, simply stating the truth and my feedback. As far as experiences go, many (not all) of my own experiences are synonymous with Giovanni’s, albeit I have less than 1yr of non-negotiable daily practice. Keep in mind; however, take the advice of Giovanni and every experienced meditation teacher/master and do -NOT- try to attain these experiences – for this only results in suffering (i.e., Dukkha). Let your practice be and simply do it for its own sake, not for experiences. For example, I once experienced an intense phenomenon and relentlessly tried to repeat the experience over and over again with no luck. Since then, I deattached myself from the clinging of the experience and simply practice to practice, not for achieving an experience. This is big trap – suggest readers check out Jack Kornfield for more advice on this topic.

    Thanks again Giovanni, wishing you well on your journey to 10,000hrs! And here’s my personal favorite quote (perhaps since I’m a Leo), “Awaken the Lion Within!”.

  • makawosa

    It is a great contribution. According to me, understanding core consciousness is at the root of enjoying life. If you can only learn to talk to your consciousness and understand its language, take its orders and then follow that strictly, leaving your mind starving, you will never go wrong in life.

  • David Marín

    Amazing article! Thank you so much Giovanni! This is so inspiring. I’ve been finding huge benefits as well and I have practiced 130 hours so far 😀

  • Prakash

    Very amazing feat by you Giovanni. With due respect to your achievement,I would like to say that the meditation is not measured in any units like no of hrs spent. It’s not like becoming a pilot after dedicating some hrs flight and maintaining record. It’s not a medicine to get cure of some illness, stress etc. Getting cured is the just a very small byproduct of meditation. Meditation is a lifetime job. Life after life is spent in meditation, and some time it’s a moment only to get enlightened. It’s a personal journey and not a destination. So enjoy … enjoy eternally.

    • Agreed. Still, I find it encouraging to pay attention to the milestones along the way.

  • Regarding this post, I got this question a lot: “Where you logging your sessions from the very beginning?”

    No, I didn’t keep a log from the very beginning. However, I practice every day for the same amount of time. I know the exact day I started, and the rough time when I increased my session length. So, I calculated retroactively.

    Also, since 2015 I have been using Insight Timer as a bell for my meditation sessions, and that app keeps track for me.

    • Liam

      Hey Gio,

      You must have gone on several retreats during all those years of practice. It doesn’t seem like you’ve included any in your logs?

    • You’re right, I didn’t include them. However, I didn’t go to that many retreats, and never longer than 7 days, so it wouldn’t make that much of a difference in the number of hours.
      Also, considering that in average once a month I probably skipped the practice, in the first years, it all kind of averages out.

  • Ole

    I would like to ask if you believe there is such a thing as meditation induced “psychosis” / “spiritual emergence”.
    A couple years ago I meditated very intensively, and I feel as though it opened me up to a well of pain and dark emotions, that now years after the initial experience I am still struggling to process.
    Its as though if practiced without care, meditation can destabilize a persons psyche….at least that is what I believe happened to me.

    • If a person has a lot of trauma or unresolved emotional material, meditation will bring those things up. This can be a good thing, if the person has good support (in one form or another) to work through those materials. Otherwise they continue to be there in your unconscious mind, influencing your life.

      You may want to try pranayama techniques, particular alternating nostrils breathing. This will help stabilize the nervous system and calm down the emotions.

    • Samo Groos

      Know that there’s one more with raw, unresolved emotions. Meditation optimises me in every way possible, heals too (with guidance of R. Hanson on Youtube (look it up as it can show you the neuroscience of consciously rewriting unresolved and trapped emotions (implicit memory)).
      Mental care has not done much for me, and this sounds nut but, “screaming it all out” in a place where no-one could see or hear me brought allot of catharsis. You can scream it all out, try it (let yourself go to that painful spot).
      To me it feels as a small healing to me to send you this message. Life is struggle, but try to invite those quiet places of mind more and more often, you can enjoy it at all time.
      -The best, Samo

  • Joseph Manuel Olavarria

    Hi! I think you are really a spiritual person and a true seeker. I usually count my kriyas (about 342000) as you do with the hours you have devoted to meditation, If you see it as a way to encourage yourself as I do to go on with your daily meditation program it is perfect but you should realize that when enlightenment comes it doesn’t matter you have practiced 7000, 10000, 100000 or (18 hours daily). It all happens in a moment, you lose your attachment to your body and then your mind stops! You only feel a Light surrounding you and everything. Of course without our daily practice this wouldn’t happen but it can take place when you less hope it! In fact if you wish to have an enlightenment experience or a goal you won’t have it! Because if you are thinking and thinking everyday when you try to meditate about it then you are not meditating1 Enlightenment occurs not when you have attained a lot of hours of meditation but when you are able to stop your mind full of uncontrolled wandering thoughts and to focus it on God (or called it as the Buddhist say) . Then your first step in only one moment (mine happened on February 19th 2008) takes place and you don’t need any more to count anything. I also used to count and still do it but only as a way to encourage myself. After that, little by little you begin to fell that “Light” when you are in a quiet park or place or listening to some calm music. This is the beginning of Nirvikalpa Samadhi. You don’t need to be a yogui saint of India to be an enlightenment person. Not only the one hundred or so of devoted saints of India and other communities are the ones who can be enlightened. It is a Grace of God given to you and me and all mankind if they want to… I reckon that to practice 18 hours of meditation a day can even be deleterious for one’s health. I have sometimes practiced four hours in a day and it is something that can make you feel tired or even exhausted. I know many people who are on the way of Self-Realization, this is why that I think there are more than twenty thousand people who are on this path nowadays , but who really knows it is God.

  • Gaurav Thakur

    Giovanni your articles are very helful to understand the true meaning of meditation. Thanks for such wonderful writtings.

  • Pasan

    Great!I love meditation as it makes the muddy water clear, Crystal clear! Metta meditation is so great as it makes us a human being who can spread love for all the directions of the universe to infinity.

  • Federico

    Muchas gracias Giovanni! Abrazo desde Argentina.

  • Samo Groos

    Thank you so much for this beautiful insight!

  • Indian

    Hello , it’s been a while since I meditated and was looking for inspiration to resume my practice. Your articles exhibit truth as it is without exaggeration or hype. I was able to relate to many challenges that you shared. Thank you. God bless. Will take your advice in my efforts to resume my practice.

  • Ryan

    The “superpower” that I wish to gain, is total control of reactivity. I have recently started meditation, through guided meditations found on Beachbody’s on demand program. For the last few years, there has been much anxiety, panic, worry, and depression. Although there have been times of peace, the only way to break out of this is mindfulness. Meditation, is obviously the perfect medium for learning to be present in the moment. Therefore, I am making it my goal, to meditate 3 times a day.

    • That’s great! I hope you find in this blog the information and inspiration you need.

  • Alexandra Stewart

    Hi- I would really like to learn about your awakening experience that changed your life… I believe I had 2 that were connected into one that set my awareness, consciousness, and journey on a different path…. is that posted anywhere? Thanks- Lex.

    • Yes, it is. Although I rarely share it.
      Here is the link: https://liveanddare.com/my-journey/11/

    • Alexandra Stewart

      Thank you so much- reading now.

  • Felix

    Hola Giovanni, thank you for sharing so many insights, very inspiring.

    You write: ´feeling heat building up in the body (this can be a sign of the wrong type of concentration, or of internal energies evaporating)´

    Are you sure about this? What makes you state this? other sources?

    I have been meditating steadily for about two years now and when I get deeper my body always heats up quite a lot. I looked it up ones on the Internet and learned from many different sources that it is completely normal, just vital energy ´growing´, body ´opening´ etc.

    Thanks again & Enjoy,
    Felix

    • That is why I wrote that it CAN be a sign of the wrong type of concentration. If it is or not, in your case, depends on your own discernment when evaluating your experience. Or check in with a teacher, if you have one.

  • Felix

    After studying the entire website and diving into many of its links
    I saw what had happened again: The ´me person´ got dragged in.
    again. As you very well are aware of: Mind is a mechanism, it repeats repeats repeats and it repeated this trick. Mind is a trap for awareness.

    I contemplated what your website represented: the ´same´ conditioned mind pattern I have been carrying around for decades – and of which I am the puppet – the repetitive pattern of ´(spiritual) knowledge addiction´.

    Add-iction. Always more, never enough. 76 techniques, 56 methods, 7 ways. Books. Oh the books! The many marvellous masters, the Internet oracle… And ´how to deepen´ (in other words: How to get better. but … what needs to be improved? And why so? And can it actually be improved? Was it ever wrong to begin with?

    A few years ago I found what had been the drive to turn my body-mind into a multi talented, homo universalis with a modest missionary attitude, deep down there was a Craving for recognition and approval of my mother. ´Mom, look at me! Look at me!´
    And mom did look but always criticised. It has turned me in a ´superman´. ´Look at me what I can do now!´ … I now see it as the ´superman syndrome´. Long ago during an Ayahuasca session I got this inside: Superman = the Devil :- )

    Uf, if I would have created a website or blog… Now that could surely have resulted in applause from many… but it would still never be good enough… it was – as I learned in my case – my dear mother.
    How cliché, but how true. It happens to all of us. Some break and become depressed/alcoholic/etc (my sister), others become ´superman´, yet isn’t the cause the same worldwide conditioning, generation upon generation in all cultures? Isn’t it the human condition(ing)? And isn’t it necessary? Isn’t the whole of egoic society made out of ego tripping individuals just a tiny, natural and inevitable happening in the natural growth of earth, galaxy, cosmos. Ego and earth like the shell of a fruit. The shell is necessary yet will be destroyed when its time comes.

    Fear. The root of ego. And Fear is the absence of Trust, the seed of liberation.

    Since the emotional umbilical cord has been cut with father, mother and even sister (and also with society of restless human doings) ambition and missionary attitude started to evaporate. Peace and a smile dawned in my being. The smile had always been there but usually accompanied with great restless enthusiasm, and excitement/passion, perseverance and drive.
    Now peace dawned.

    But still, as you know, old habits… falling back … and so the other day I got sucked into the vortex of your website that very much appealed to my mind´s desires. Until I recognised the cunning mind and drive behind your work as my own.
    For example how it cunningly Justifies its habits and routines. (For example the way of explaining why in part it is justified and even recommended to charge money for services. Very well, I could agree. But Who says so and to what end… truly?)

    This morning I deleted all my notes in phone and laptop. Threw away my pens and paper and many many written notes, decades of writing and accumulating… Wow. Now imagine how that feels dear Giovanni.

    So the books, all the movies and documentaries had to go too.

    Let the house be completely empty! Let me be like an empty house. Even for a zafu is no need anymore. Neither for cold showers and fasting. Lets even break down the walls!

    I, this mind-body has been living in a car since 7 years (summer in France, winter in Spain), but now it is time to give away the car (what do I need all that stuff for? Tools, cutlery, pans, a little fridge… Is it attachment to comfort? What for? What is the fear? What is the worst that could happen?) So from now on I will walk with only a small back pack. Like they say in zen: Like clouds and water. Give it all up…

    Sometimes I ask myself, ´What would Ramana do? How would he be with it?
    What would one still do if he were completely fulfilled?´

    And then my intuition shines through and whispers that soon I won’t even be walking anymore. Just ´die´ as soon as you can.
    Only trust.

    Now I wonder: Am I repeating myself? Again?
    Is my missionary habit writing this? Is it recreating itself? Again?

    Giovanni was talking about ´living longer (time?) to achieve more.´
    Is he convinced that things need to be added? Or taken away? Is something missing? Is all there is just as it is not good enough?
    Oops.
    It seemed so close – long ago – when arriving in India, ´bare foot´.

    Dear fellow on the path, let us finally realise that there is no path.
    Relax, you are going to die.

    ¿How would it feel if it were all gone?´

    • If the search is fuelled by a sense of personal inadequacy or of running away from suffering, often we eventually arrive at a point of saturation, where we want to stop it all and forget about it. That seems to be the gist of your message.

      But if it is fuelled by a sincere thirst for ultimate liberation, for growth, and due to the deep seated understanding that everything else is ultimately meaningless and temporary–then, my friend, one will not stop until one fully merges in That.

      Whatever it feels like now for you, authentically, that is fine and that is your truth right now. Just keep in mind that it may be just a phase.

  • Hez Bliz

    Hi,

    So the following lines of texts are going to sound very agitated, but are nevertheless a well intentioned and an earnest request for guidance.

    Wee little background detail:
    I have been suffering from neurosis, anxiety and fear (of having faith in life and of failure) for a long time. I have been so consumed by it that I don’t live in the present. In fact as one female meditator, whom I had the opportunity to meet, told me, I am and was ‘killing the present’, My psychiatrist (read: now former) seemed to have indicated my neurosis as part of me. Well screw that, I don’t want to live like that but I have accepted that I have this condition. I had recently learned a set of breathing exercises from the AOL foundation to help me cope and I have high hopes for it.

    What I am looking for:
    I am looking for a meditation practice that will help me achieve the following in the long run:

    1. Living in the present while being optimistic about the fruition of my goals when being presented with a deadline instead of envisioning my life as calendar with a bunch of slots representing days and months limiting my awareness of the present.

    I wanna kill that calendar like image of life that running in the back of my mind and just flow in the now (in short, just let go and believe that stuff is going to go on okay and not thinking of counter measures of what to do if it goes wrong.)

    2. To delve deep into my fears and negative beliefs and being able to kill it rather than just going to ‘peace out’ mode when presented with such an awareness

    3.Determination and persistence to stay present and pursue my goals with optimism even when in the midst of hardships.

    Look, I know meditation is not a magic pill and I know that I have to take care of a lot of things consciously, but there seems to be so many forms out there claiming so many different benefits, I don’t know which will benefit me but I do know the type of mental ailments that I want to cure, hence the specificity. Also I was being specific by giving certain scenarios rather than habitual patterns because I currently am not aware of the patterns/beleifs that underpin these scenarios.

    So where do I start,and how should I go

    Apologies for the grim neediness
    …yet eagerly awaiting any sort response

    • Hi Hez,

      You ask for meditation advice to help you deal with neurosis, anxiety and fear. There are many styles of meditation that can help you tackle these challenges, each from different angles. For example, for anxiety and fear the techniques of Pranayama (including the Spinal Breathing that is part of my intermediate course) can be very powerful. I also feel that more heart centered meditations such as Kirtan can work wonders, if you are of a devotional nature. Finally, mindfulness in the form of labeling thoughts can also be a good start.

      Neurosis, on the other hand, are more tricky and lengthy.

      In all these three cases, I believe that meditation is essential but not enough for you. You might consider hiring a good mindfulness coach as well, for one-on-one personal work.

      Hopefully my answer gives you something to start with!

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